Introduction to BDSM: Understand character settings, common props, and safety rules

BDSM revealed! It turns out that BDSM ≠ Sexual violence? A detailed introduction to the meaning of BDSM. How to do BDSM training? Master BDSM role settings, common props, methods, and safety rules immediately! 

1. It turns out that BDSM ≠ Sex and violence! BDSM meaning detailed introduction

Many people think that BDSM is about sadism, masochism, or violent behavior that "crosses the line" during sex. However, BDSM does not necessarily include sexual behavior, nor is it sexual violence. Physical pain is only a small part of BDSM. If If you don’t like the pain, you can also choose not to participate in the relevant links. At the same time, BDSM must be informed and consented by both parties before it is performed, and it must be for the pleasure of both parties.

The four letters of BDSM can be divided into three groups of Chinese characters to explain, each of which presents the relative power relationship and role play:

(1) B/D

It means Bondage & Disciplin, which means "bonding" and "discipline". It focuses on physical bondage and can be divided into two role settings: the binder and the bound. For those who enjoy being tied up, the sense of immobility and deprivation of freedom brought about by such restraint, or the sense of shame generated when forced into different positions, can often bring profound psychological or physical satisfaction.

The binder not only enjoys the sense of dominance during the control process, but also enjoys the sense of accomplishment of gradually completing the entire binding process. For the binder, it not only satisfies the control of the body, but also achieves the pursuit of aesthetics and skills.

(2) D/S

It means Dominance & Submission, that is, "dominance" and "surrender", and is often referred to as "Dom" and "Sub" in the BDSM circle.

D/S focuses on the psychological level of power exchange. In this process, the Dom (Dominator) is responsible for giving orders, while the Sub (Submissive) will try its best to carry out these orders. Through this role reversal, the originally equal partnership becomes hierarchical, with the dominant showing majesty and the submissive responding with a submissive attitude. This change in power can bring freshness and excitement to both parties.

(3) S/M

It means Sadism & Masochism, which means "sadism" and "masochism", and is also the more well-known physical abuse part of BDSM. Mild violence is used to induce physical pain, thereby stimulating physical pleasure and lust. In this situation, the abuser enjoys the power and dominance over others' body and mind, while the abused may experience pleasure and emotional release from accepting pain.

Humiliating words or behaviors sometimes occur in S/M situations, and the psychological stimulation caused further intensifies the sensory experience related to pain.

The core relationship of BDSM mainly focuses on D/S (dominance and submission), and the other two forms use different methods to consolidate or further strengthen D/S. The above relationship settings are not fixed, and both parties can switch their power roles in the process of practice. BDSM is not just based on sex and pain. For beginners, you can start with dominance and submission at the spiritual level, and then gradually explore deeper levels.

2. How to do BDSM training? Master common props, methods, and safety rules immediately!

(1) Introduction to BDSM: Introduction to 8 basic props

Common props for BDSM, including handcuffs, blindfolds, whips, candles, etc., the main function is not only to add interest, but also to allow both parties to enter the character setting faster. However, in order to avoid physical and mental harm, both parties should have a sufficient understanding of the use of props and communicate fully, so that they can pursue pleasure and excitement with confidence under the premise of safety!

• handcuffs: An entry-level prop that easily achieves the restraint effect. The hardness of the metal and the sound it makes can further stimulate the senses.

• Binding rope : The binding process is longer and the effect is more "personalized" when used. It is necessary to master the binding technique before proceeding. The tied person can gain a certain sense of security through being "controlled" just right, thereby releasing stress.

• eye mask: When out of sight, it will make other senses more stimulated, making you more defenseless against sudden "sneak attacks", and enhancing the fun effect.

• Mouthball : When using the mouthball, you will be deprived of the ability to express and cannot swallow saliva. You can only show your shameful side to the other party, creating a stronger sense of humiliation.

• whip: Divided into loose whips, horse whips, pointers, etc., it is recommended to choose loose whips with lower lethality for beginners. Sanbu whipping has a larger area, can disperse the intensity and pain, and has a more obvious sound effect.

• collar: Although it has no actual restraint function, it will create a psychological connection with characters such as slaves and pets, making it easier for people to enter the dominated character setting. If combined with a "traction chain", the freedom of movement can be restricted, highlighting the power status of both parties.

• Nipple clamps : Used to hold up the nipples, making it easier for the other party to play with and tease them. Not only can it bring a strong sense of shame to the wearer, but the other party can also enjoy the "emphasis" visual effect.

• low temperature Candle: The burning point of this kind of candle is about 50 degrees, which is safer than ordinary candles. The instant pain caused by dripping wax amplifies the body's reaction and enhances the erotic effect.

(2) What are the common BDSM methods?

The world of BDSM is full of infinite possibilities. Whether it is physical restraint and blows, sensory deprivation and expansion, or psychological challenges, every play method explores the limits of stimulation and desire. Here are some common BDSM methods:

• Controlling freedom : using restraint ropes, handcuffs and other props to make it difficult for people to move freely or to maintain a certain posture. It is like an object at the control of another person. They must accept the touch of another person and wait for "rescue". It is often performed with props such as oral balls and nipple clamps to enhance the sense of deprivation and shame. Some people will also choose to join the "play" link to extend the bondage time and enhance the pleasure of being "favored" in the end.

• Whipping and slapping : Using whips, paddles or even Dom or S's hands, whip or slap the other party, making a loud sound and leaving red marks on the body in the process. The person being whipped often takes a kneeling position or is controlled and free. The accumulated pain, humiliation and fear all help to increase the pleasure.

• Role-playing : Some people have a soft spot for certain roles or professions. Coordinating the power relationship between different roles can make BDSM more immersive and fresh. Common role plays include teacher/student, police/prisoner, queen/servant, master/pet, etc.

• Sensory deprivation : By removing the perception ability of some senses, amplifying the reception and sensitivity of other senses. The most common prop is a blindfold. In addition, deprivation of vision can also make the next stroke or pat more unpredictable, and the anticipation of the "unknown" will bring a higher sense of excitement.

• Wax dripping game : Wax dripping is a very classic game in S/M. It is difficult to control the timing of dripping of molten wax. The moment it drips, it causes tingling on the skin and suddenly amplifies the body's sensory response. The waiting process is very frustrating. Expectation and fear. Wax dripping can also be used as a "punishment link" in the entire BDSM process, where minor punishments and major punishments can be imposed on the lover under the premise of relative safety.

• Delayed orgasm : preventing the other party from reaching climax by commanding or stopping stimulation. This not only satisfies the sense of dominance and dominance of both parties, but also continues to increase desire in the form of repeated stimulation and pauses, and finally explodes to enjoy the ultimate pleasure. and joy.

(3) Playing safely is the most important thing! How to do BDSM safely?

Before starting a BDSM relationship, in addition to fully communicating the preferences and boundaries of both parties, you should also set up a safe code that can be stopped at any time. If one of the parties feels that the situation is different, they should stop immediately to avoid causing harm. 

• Obtain your partner's consent and fully communicate : Fully understand your partner's acceptance and boundaries of different aspects of BDSM, and engage in BDSM with the knowledge and consent of both parties.

• Understand preferences and determine how to proceed : Communicate your and your partner’s preferences for different props, gameplay, and roles, and jointly decide on the specific implementation method of BDSM to avoid over-investment in the process and behavior that exceeds each other’s boundaries and harms the relationship. .

• Set a safe word : Say a safe word in advance that has nothing to do with the sexual situation. The main purpose is that if the abused or dominated party feels uncomfortable or approaches physical or psychological limits, the safe word can be spoken immediately to lighten the atmosphere. Instantly cool down to stop BDSM related words and actions. It is not recommended to set words such as "no good" and "stop" because they may be confused with the expressions of rejection and welcome in the situation.

• Choose safe BDSM props : Safety should be the main principle when choosing props, such as: the material is skin-friendly, whether the props to be placed in the mouth are food grade, whether they are easy to control during use, etc. The second priority is whether they can satisfy the visual and erotic effects. .

• Do not leave a restrained partner alone : ​​In the event of an emergency such as a fire or injury, the restrained person will be unable to escape on his own and leave the scene or seek help, which may result in greater harm.

• Aftercare : Certain behaviors in BDSM may cause physical injury, and humiliating words and practices during the process may also cause a large psychological shadow. Therefore, after the end, remember to return to an equal relationship, hug your partner well, and take care of your partner carefully. Wounds, this is in line with the purpose of happiness for both parties.

3. BDSM role & relationship exploration: Are you a "master" or a "slave"?

There are many different character sets in the BDSM scene, some forming a relationship with another character, and some emphasizing their own unique attributes. Here are some common role settings.

(1) Master/Slave

It means master and slave. Compared with Dom and Sub, master and slave emphasize the ownership and exclusive relationship between superior and inferior. The master has ownership of the slave, controls all the slave's movements, and can issue instructions at will and require the slave to obey; and the role of the slave is to temporarily put down his dignity and free will and try his best to obey and cooperate with the master's requests on his own free will.

(2) Top/Bottom

It means the superior and the inferior, which is equivalent to what is generally called "attack" and "receiving". Attacking refers to the party that performs the active behavior, and receiving refers to the passive party that accepts caressing and entry. Different from Dom and Sub, attacking and receiving emphasize the active giving and passive receiving of behavior, and are not related to pain. Therefore, even Dom (Dominator) can order Sub (Submissive) to tease themselves as Bottom.

(3) Owner/Pet

It means the owner and the pet. The person playing the role of Pet will imitate the behavior of the pet by coquettishly, crawling, barking, and even cooperate with other sex toys to dress up more like kittens, puppies and other pets to gain pampering. In this kind of relationship, although the owner will also give instructions, he is relatively more caring, just like the relationship between the owner and his pet in reality.

(4) Hunter/Prey

It means hunter and prey. This group of characters imitates the relationship between hunter and prey in the natural environment. The hunter will subdue the prey in a relatively rough way, and the prey will also resist strongly, thereby increasing the difficulty and excitement of subjugation. And through this process of subjugation, a dominant/submissive relationship is established.

(5) Doll

Doll is a special form of self-objectification in which one partner enters the role of a doll or puppet and is at the mercy of the other partner. The person playing with the doll can decide the doll's clothing, placement, placement, etc., while the person playing the role of the doll will not make any noise or show any physical resistance during the process. From the inner world to the behavior, he must follow the doll. Same.

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